Rocky Mountain Writer

This is a “Christmas Story” from last year, and a way to introduce you to a member of my family–my standard poodle. She’s quite the show-stealer.

I can tell you all about this, because I no longer have the very special item I’d ordered for Sunday’s gift exchange for my RWA chapter’s annual holiday party. He was perfect. I really shopped for this, because I wanted something they would really appreciate–men and chocolate. Perfect, I tell you! The best gift I’ve ever found for a PPRW gift exchange.

My very tall standard poodle ate him…. ATE HIM! Okay, so she’s female. Perhaps we can forgive her. Well…maybe. I’ll take that under consideration. Right now, she’s in the doghouse….

If chocolate is toxic to dogs, we’ll soon find out! (Later note: she didn’t even have the decency to get a stomach ache, and the vet had the nerve to ask me where I’d purchased the chocolate loverboy so she could get one for herself!)

Let me tell you about the Chocolate Loverboy. He was certainly decadent. On the back of the box, it said “He’s Hard, But He Will Melt In Your Mouth!” Then it listed ten reasons why he’s better than your last boyfriend.

1. Will listen patiently to everything you say.
2. His eyes are only for you.
3. Understands when you have a headache.
4. Made of the right stuff.
5. Wears his heart on his boxers.
6. He’s hard when you want him to be. (blush)
7. He will stand by you.
8. If he even thinks about straying, just eat his legs.
9. Won’t talk about sports.
10. He’s fun to have around, but even more fun to get rid of.

Here’s a link to where I bought him.

When I returned from the grocery store–yes, even “glamorous” romance authors do these mundane chores–and found Loverboy’s shipping box and wrapping paper on my office floor. No sign of the box the loverboy was in–including the cellophane–or any traces of chocolate on the floor. Not even a sliver….

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And–trust me–I wish much of my life, including the above, was fiction….Hope your holidays went well, and that there’s a real chocolate loverboy in your life.